I looked around. I had been up since 5 AM and Prem had been gone for nearly three hours. He suddenly appeared walking with a plastic bag that contained honey. I figured quickly that he had made the two and a half hour long trip on my behalf so that I could enjoy honey in my tea. Embarrassed I asked him:
Typical day in the life of being a Nepali guest in the Himalaya.
Do you need a hand with anything today Prem?
It’s ok sir, you just relax, came his usual response.
He then motioned for his daughter to fetch a pillow. I laid out in the sun and went back to sleep.
The bus trip had been rigorous. Nine hours along windy roads sitting right beside the exit where a young man with motion sickness threw up his lunch contents, much to our delight in close proximity. Of all the roads that I have travelled in Nepal, I must say, that this road to Jiri, built by the help of Swiss engineers, was by far the best I had experienced. Traveling by bus in Nepal has often left me a little on the squeamish side with all the quick movements that the drivers do having to contending with potholes, rock slides, rivers, people and animals who also lay strewn along their path.
When I first met Prem, he had shown me a picture of him and his wife posing by the roadside. I thought it odd at the time as to why it had been a predominant feature in the photo. Why not pose beside a magnificent Nepalese mountain? Well, it seems that the locals are just as interested in resources that make their everyday life easier, as they are with their illustrious mountains. This road was a testimony to this.
We reached Prem’s home in the fading light, greeted by the barks of neighboring dogs and the polite but shy greeting by Prem’s wife and children. The first thing I noticed was the silence. Then the stars. Then the smell of wholesome food being cooked. As we sat around an open fire, with his extended family coming in streams to welcome me to their village, I began to wonder what this week would have in store for me. As a cat purred on my lap, whilst I was eating probably the most gratifying meal during my time here in Asia, a sense of being part of family again warmed my traveling heart.
The next day I got to see the family at close hold. Cow and goat pens had to be erected. Homework needed to be done. All the animals needed food. This also had to be cooked and prepared over an open fire. All the meals were also made during this time. As a guest, I was always served first and pressed to give the family my preferences when it came to eating and drinking. I counted that Prem’s wife Krshna, would spend up to a total of nine hours in their kitchen. She was a model of efficiency there. She could cut up any vegetable in her hands and had a fantastic way of combining spices in everything that I tasted. Nearly all the food was grown on their farm. Tomatoes and certain fruits were purchased at nearby farms along the valley. I think it was the first time I ate the majority of my food knowing where it actually came from.
Sanjita and Prahtik, Prem’s 14 and 9 year old children, had a three hour round trip on foot to get to their private school. This meant that Sanjita would leave at 4:45am to begin class at 6:30am. When she had come home after a long trek in the evening light, she would then help her mother with whatever duties was needed in the kitchen. Not once did I see her show a sign of resentment. After that, she would hit the study books.
“She’s a very good student, said Prem proudly. We hope that she will be able to study overseas. However, she needs to continue getting top marks,” he added.
Prahtik was a natural comedian. He always gave me a quirky smile and wasn’t the least bit shy to talk to me in English. His day dreaminess and need to go off and play reminded me of my own childhood tendencies. Both these children were so well behaved and had a strength and humbleness to them that captivated me.
So I asked Prem to tell me which quality he was most attracted to when he first met his wife. His wife quickly wanted him to translate the question I had asked him to her. Her quick response made Prem laugh.
Nothing quite like your wife having the last word
“What did she say,” I asked?
“She told me to tell you that I liked all her qualities!”
As I got to see the rhythm of their routine I began to have fantasies about me helping out and getting my hand’s dirty.
“What shall I help you with Prem?”, I asked as the men of the family had gathered around to help build another pen for the animals.
“No sir, said Prem with his ever charming smile, you don’t need to help, just relax. Would you like some tea?”
I winced at his insistence to be his guest of honor.
It was a blow to my manhood, but it probably saved the family many hours of explanation and no doubt a trip to the hospital. It was back breaking stuff.
And what’s your’s young man? I asked to the only kid in the class with the guts to stand up and share his dream in front of his classmates.
Me sharing truth-bombs whilst visiting ninth graders at the Jiri Elementary School
“I want to move to Texas,” he replied in a soft and shy tone.
The whole class erupted in laughter. When it died down I gave a pregnant pause, before talking in a slow and deliberate voice.
Thank you for sharing this openly with us, I said as I eyeballed the kids in a serious manner.
No one should ever laugh at someone who is brave enough to voice what is in their heart.
I have to admit that my time here got me asking a lot of existential questions about who I was and what my intentions were as I bore witness to this families honest work and gentle way of life. At times, I felt lost in the hours that I would spend alone, as each family member went about their day. Sometimes I would find the need to escape into my phone and check my messages, or I would have these weird fantasies as a way of coping. (Notice how I won’t elaborate). Everyone was so invested in what needed to be done. They worked tirelessly and efficiently, yet always had time to see that my needs were to be met. After five days, I began to feel ashamed when I reflected back on all the times I had bitched about my long days at the office. It just paled in comparison to what I was witnessing before me. Is that an East v West thing? Is that a developing country v affluent country anomaly? Is that just me getting some truth bombs slung my way.
I think it’s a combination of all three but definitely a little more of the latter.
Epilogue: I came to Jiri to observe the Nepali way of life in the country. After one week, I was humbled by the tenacity displayed by their way of understanding on what needed to be done in order for the family to make ends meet.
Ritchie 22.01.23
I came away with a wonderful lesson on servitude.
These people didn’t preach. They just backed up their love for each other by their actions.
Pure, unfiltered Karma Yoga.
